How to Defend Yourself Without a Wand
by Morrolan
Summary: Methos goes to teach at Hogwarts. Silly story, but I was bored... Formerly know as "Physical Education" Slightly rewritten but still needs more work.
1. The Arrival

Disclaimer: Harry Potter belongs to J.K. Rowling and the movie people...Aol/Time Warner or whatever they are now. Methos belongs to Highlander, which belongs to.... ah, I can't remember. But it doesn't belong to me.

Methos...  
  
Methos sat at the train station wondering why the hell he accepted the job. Teaching a bunch of snot nosed kids how to defend themselves. But Duncan had asked him to help him out. Duncan had been offered the job by a friend of his from Scotland but he had other commitments so he had asked Methos to fill in for him, Methos, being temporarily deprived of his sanity, in his own opinion, had agreed. So now he was on a train on his way to the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Something that Duncan had not mentioned when he had asked Methos to help him. Methos had known about wizards forever, but he had been unaware that Duncan knew. Apparently Duncan knew one of the professors there; a Professor McGonagall, and she had mentioned him to the Headmaster, Professor Dumbledore. And Dumbledore wanted to add a class on physical defense incase the students were ever in a situation without their wands. So that's how Methos had ended up on the Hogwarts Express on his way to Hogwarts. He had gotten to the station early, before anyone else, before the train even, hoping to be able to get on the train without to many of the kids noticing him.  
  
Harry, Ron, and Hermione...  
  
Harry got out of the Weasley's car and got his stuff out of the trunk, with help from Ron and the twins. Who where actually hindering him more than helping as they tried to get his stuff out of the way so they could get theirs. Harry put his stuff on the cart and pushed it into the train station, Ron following close behind. When they got in the station they headed toward the barrier between platform 9 and 10.  
"I wonder who the new DADA teacher is. I hope it's not Snape. That would be horrible," said Ron.  
"I really don't think that Dumbledore would do that to us. There is a new class that everyone in 5th year or higher is required to take. It sounds interesting, and very useful. It's a physical defense class. I wonder who is teaching that, probably someone new, can you just picture Snape or Professor Flitwick teaching that?" Harry laughed.  
"I don't know if that would be much fun, to much work"  
"Ron, you are lazy!"  
"I am not!"  
"I was just kidding. Hey look, there's Hermione."  
Hermione came over by them.  
"Hello Harry, hello Ron. How was your summer? Sorry I wasn't able to come over Ron."  
"It was wonderful," said Ron very sarcastically. "We got to denome the garden again. That was fun. Otherwise it was very boring. How was yours Hermione?"  
"Oh, I had so much fun, we went to New York, and I got to see a play on Broadway. It was so great."  
By this time they had made it onto the train and where looking for a compartment to sit in. The only one that they found that didn't have to many people, or people they didn't like in it was one with a man sitting in the corner, kind of reminiscent of when they met Professor Lupin.  
"I guess this is it," said Harry.  
"I wonder who he is," said Hermione very quietly, almost whispering.  
"He's probably one of the new professors, either DADA or that new class," said Ron.  
Just then he woke up.  
  
Methos...  
  
Methos woke up from his lovely little nap when he heard children talking; "Crap" he thought "Just what I need, a compartment full of kids. Oh Joy." They where looking at him like he was going to yell at them, so he decided to be nice.  
"Hello." he said.  
"Hello sir, I'm sorry did we wake you?" Asked the girl.  
"Yes, but I don't mind. And you three are?"  
"I'm Hermione Granger, this is Ron Weasley, and this is Harry Potter." She said, pointing to the redhead and then to the young man with black hair.  
"Hello Hermione, hello Ron and Harry."  
"And who are you?" asked Ron.  
"I am Paul Adams, a new professor at Hogwarts."  
"Really? Are you the new Defense Against the Dark Arts professor?" asked Harry.  
"No."  
"Then you are the teacher for the new class. What was it called again?" said Hermione.  
"It is called Defending Yourself Without a Wand."  
"What will we do in this class?" asked Harry.  
"I am going to teach you how to defend your self and how to be effective in a fight even without your wand."  
"No wands?" asked all three.  
"Right, no magic allowed in my class."  
The three where silent after that. Shortly a witch came by with a cart and asked if they wanted anything, the boy Harry and the girl each got stuff, Harry more than Hermione. Ron didn't get anything, only pulled two sandwiches out of his pocket and looked dolefully at them. Harry and Hermione both shared with him, evidently the three where very good friends. Methos decided to return to his interrupted nap.  
  
Harry, Ron, and Hermione...  
  
The man went back to sleep and the three decided to be very quiet and not wake him again. They all mulled over their opinions and thought about him. Ron thought he was a very odd sort indeed, almost rude. Harry thought he seemed very nice, and it would be very interesting to have his class. Hermione thought that he was a bit rude, but then he was more polite to them than most grownups would have been when their sleep was disturbed like that. They each had a different, yet similar opinion of him. Harry fell asleep as well, Hermione was reading up on Arithmancy, and Ron was reading a comic book Harry had showed him when they had stopped at a muggle store. Before much longer they arrived at Hogwarts.  
"Firs' years, firs' years, over here." They could hear Hagrid saying as they got off the train.  
"Hello Hagrid!" they said.  
"Hi Harry, Ron, Hermione. Had a good summer Harry?" Hagrid asked.  
"Yes I did, spent the last month of it with Ron's family again." Harry replied.  
"That's good, talk to ya later Harry." Hagrid said, leading the first years off to the castle.  
They had lost track of Professor Adams, he must have gone inside already, or he was still sleeping on the train they thought. They all headed up to the castle with the other students. When they got to the Great Hall they saw that Professor Adams was indeed already in the castle, sitting up at the head table with the other teachers. He was talking to Professor Snape and a woman they did not recognize, so they assumed that it must be the new DADA teacher. They took their seats and waited for the Sorting Ceremony to begin.

I didn't change very much in this chapter because I don't want to mess the story up, but there are several spots that need work.... like the second Methos bit and that last bit. But I noticed I had the second Methos bit in 1st person POV and the rest of the chapter in a third person so I fixed that. But fixing this is harder than I thought it would be.


	2. The Feast

Methos...  
  
Methos got off the train right behind the three children, as he had woken up as soon as the train stopped. He headed over to where a lady was standing; he assumed it was Professor McGonagall since that is whom he was told would meet him.

"Leave your things there, it will be taken up to your room, follow me and I'll show you to the Great Hall and introduce you to the other teachers. I'm Minerva McGonagall by the way. You can call me McGonagall or Professor McGonagall."

"I can't call you Minerva, or Min?" Methos asked.

"No, Professor Adams, you may not."

"All right then, McGonagall."

As they where talking she had lead him up to the castle and into the Great Hall. She led him up to the head table and introduced him to some of the other teachers.

"This is Professor Severus Snape, Potions; Professor Flitwick, Herbology; Madame Hooch, she teaches flying to first years; Madame Pomphrey, she is our resident nurse; Madame Trewlawney, Divination; Professor Bins, History of Magic; Delores Umbridge, Defense Against the Dark Arts; Rubeus Hagrid, Care of Magical Creatures; and our Headmaster, Professor Albus Dumbledore."

At the last name a man with a long gray beard and purple robes stood up and shook Methos' hand.

"Pleasure to meet you Professor Adams." He said. "If you would have a seat between Professor Snape and Professor Umbridge please. The students will be arriving soon."

Methos sat down where he was directed. Professor Snape was greasy haired and had a very unpleasant look upon his face, especially when he looked at Professor Umbridge. Umbridge was rather short and unpleasant looking, she reminded Methos of a toad.

"Hello, I'm Paul Adams, the new teacher of Defense Without a Wand."

"Isn't that nice. A totally unnecessary class if you ask me. Gives the students ideas. I strongly objected to that class being included, but the Minister sided with Dumbledore on the matter. Useless class for Witches and Wizards, no real value at all." With that she turned to watch the students file in.

Methos turned to the man who had been introduced as the Potions professor.

"Snape, potions, now please don't talk to me." Methos thought that was very rude.

The students proceeded to sit down. Methos noticed that they where each sitting at a different table, going by the different colored patches they had on their robes. He saw Harry, Ron, and Hermione come in and nodded to them when they noticed him. Snape made a very unpleasant noise; apparently he didn't like those three very much. As soon as all of the students where seated, McGonagall brought out a stool and a ratty looking hat. She placed these before the head table, and then she headed out the main doors. She came back shortly with the first years following behind her. She lined them up in front of the head table, and then, the hat began to sing.

After the hat was done singing McGonagall began to call names. "Abram, Tracy" A girl with bright red hair and blue eyes came up and sat down, she put the hat on, and after a few moments the hat yelled "Hufflepuff!" The table farthest away from Methos cheered very loudly. This continued on until with "Zarron, Peter", who was sorted into Gryffindor, it ended. After the Ceremony was over, Dumbledore stood up.

"Welcome back everyone, and welcome to the new students, just a few announcements before we begin. We have two new professors and one new class. Our new Defense Against the Dark Arts professor is Professor Umbridge. And our new class is How to Defend Yourself Without a Wand with Professor Adams. This is a mandatory class for 5th, 6th, and 7th years. As always the Forbidden Forest is forbidden, trips to Hogsmeade for 3rd years and up are allowed once a week on certain days. Quidditch will resume, all teams are to meet sometime next week to decide new captains. On a side note, the new Gymnasium is off limits to all students unless you have class or you have special permission from Professor Adams. Thank you, that is all." and he sat down. And with those words the tables became full of food.

Snape ate without talking to anyone, as did Professor Umbridge. Methos was wishing the worst possible fate for Duncan. Stuck here with wizards and witches all around, and stuck sitting with two of the most unpleasant people he had the misfortune to meet in several years, and that included the last few headhunters.

Thankfully the feast ended and Professor McGonagall came to show Professor Umbridge to her room. She asked Snape to show Methos to his, since the woman teacher couldn't go in the men's area of the teachers' wing. Snape wasn't very pleasant about it. After Methos got to his room, he saw that his belongings were already there. He didn't have much since it was really last minute and he didn't have time to pack everything. He only had two suitcases of clothes, his sword, and a carry on bag with some extra clothes. Methos went to open the suitcase to unpack, but when he opened it he saw that everything was already out of it. He checked the closet and the chest at the end of the bed, all his clothes where there, but he couldn't find his sword. He went out into the common room he shared with Bins and Flitwick, looking for someone to ask about it. All he saw was Professor Bins sitting in a chair reading a rather dusty book.

"Hello, Professor Bins." he said.

"Hmm...Yes?"

"Who would I ask about my luggage?"

"Hmm...oh one of the house elves I would imagine."

"Thank you."

Methos went out into the main hall that divided the teacher's wing, looking for McGonagall or someone and he ran into her, just the person he was looking for.

"Hello, McGonagall."

"Yes Professor Adams?"

"I seem to be missing something from my luggage."

"Really? You'll have to ask the house elves, what was it bye the way?"

"My sword."

"Your sword?"

"Yes, it was a gift from a friend, and I take it every where I go, but now it is missing."

"Well, it's too late tonight; you'll have to ask the house elves in the morning. I'll have one stop in before breakfast."

"Thank you, McGonagall."

But she had already walked off, leaving him standing in the hall. He turned around and went back to his room, after giving that damn picture the pass word, who ever heard of pictures protecting a door...silly.


	3. First Class

Harry...

Harry woke up feeling almost as tired as he did when he went to sleep, but then when he realized he was at Hogwarts and not the Dursleys' that made him feel better. Today was the first day of classes and his first DYWW class. He was looking forward to that. Professor Adams was a very interesting man, different from all the other teachers.

"Hey Ron, you going to get up? You're going to miss breakfast."

"What! I can't miss breakfast!" yelled Ron, waking up.

"Ha, I knew that'd get you up, always thinking with your stomach."

"Not thinking with, thinking of, I don't want to starve to death."

"Right, anyway let's go. I don't want to miss breakfast and I'm looking forward to our first class, even if it is with Slytherin."

"What class is it?"

"DYWW."

"We have to exercise right after eating! Torture! Pure torture!"

"Ron, Ron, Ron, you are getting lazier every year." Harry laughed while shaking his head. Ron just answered by sticking out his tongue. Harry laughed.

After the boys finished getting dressed they went down to the common room where they met up with Hermione.

"Good morning Harry, Ron." she said.

"Nothing really good about it," replied Ron. "We have DYWW first."

"Poor Ron doesn't want to exercise after eating breakfast."

"Not just after breakfast, anytime when it isn't necessary, which is almost every time," said Ron.

"Right," said Harry as he rolled his eyes at Hermione. This made her laugh and Ron want to know why she was laughing; she told him that she was just in a merry mood. He didn't believe her. As this was going on they had been walking to the Great Hall for breakfast. Unfortunately they met Malfoy at the door with Crabbe and Goyle.

"Well, what do we have here," Malfoy said in as nasty a tone as he could use. "Mudblood, heroic Potter, and a snot nosed Weasley." This made Crabbe and Goyle laugh even though it wasn't funny. Ron was getting ready to hit Malfoy when Professor Adams showed up.

"What is going on here?" he asked.

"Nothing at all, Professor," Malfoy said, looking as innocent as an angel.

"Good. Because if there is any fighting going on I have been authorized to give whatever detention I wish. And I have a very good idea of what that would be, and you children don't want to have to find out the hard way."

Malfoy and crew looked like they where going to laugh at this but Adams just gave them one look and they stopped. The three boys turned and went into the Great Hall. Professor Adams proceeded after them, leaving Harry, Ron and Hermione in the hall outside the door.

"One of these days, I'm just going to punch Malfoy in his little ferrety face whether Crabbe and Goyle are there or not," Ron said very angrily.

"That would be a bad idea," said Hermione. "Crabbe and Goyle would very likely seriously injure you, not to mention the detentions you would get, and the points taken from Gryffindor."

Ron grumbled under his breath and Harry thought to himself that his pleasant day had been almost completely ruined. He was not looking forward to DYWW quite as much anymore, in fact he was dreading it because it was a double class with Slytherin. But he liked Professor Adams, and he seemed to be able to make Malfoy behave, so maybe class wouldn't be so bad.

Breakfast proceeded with no problems, and so it was off to DYWW with much grumbling from Ron. The new gym was huge, with all sorts of interesting equipment in it, ranging from swords and rapiers on racks to bows and quivers of arrows hanging on a wall. In one corner were a set of parallel bars, a tumbling mat, a horse, and other assorted gymnastic equipment. Most of the room was wide open though. Harry looked around but did not see Professor Adams anywhere in the room. He didn't come in until almost everyone was there already. And when he came in he did not look happy. Harry hoped that he wouldn't take this out on the students, but you never could be sure, he might turn out to be like Snape. While Harry was studying Professor Adams the last of the students arrived. As soon as everyone was present Adams began a roll call, something the other teachers never did. After roll call Adams began to lecture them.

"I am glad all are present for this first class. I won't have to repeat myself. There will be absolutely NO magic in this classroom. All students are to leave their wands in a secure box by the door before entering this gym. Since this is the first day of class I will pass around this box to collect your wands."

At these words there was a collective gasp from all the students. Never, since their first day at Hogwarts, had their wands been taken away from them. Only with certain punishments did that happen. This was bizarre.

Professor Adams continued speaking. "This is because I do not want you to use magic in this class. It will not benefit you to disobey this rule; it will only harm you in the long run because this is a wand-less defense class. You will be learning to protect yourselves and others without using magic. That is the whole point of this class. Madame Pomphrey will be on call in case of any emergencies, but hopefully that will not happen often. And she is only to heal you in emergencies, like broken bones and such. You are not to go to her for bruises or scrapes and cuts obtained in class. And you will not be able to trick her by telling her that you received your injury in another class or outside of a class, she knows who is in this class and at the end of each class she receives a list of those injured during the course of the class. So don't bother trying to trick her."

He waited for a few moments, to let this sink in, before continuing. "Today I will divide you all into groups based on your experience. You will not move from your present spot until I tell you to. I want all who have taken a gymnastic class to go over to the red circle on the floor, and only those who have taken JUST a gymnastic class, nothing else. Those who have taken karate, Judo, or anything like that to go to the blue circle. Any who have taken sword fighting or fencing are to go the green circle. Anyone who has taken any combination of these three is to go to the yellow circle. And anyone who has taken any sort of class that I didn't mention to go to the orange circle. Anyone who has never taken any sort of class is to stay where you are, in the purple circle. Move."

At that everyone began to move to the colored circle that applied to him or her. Harry noticed that mostly girls went to the red circle. But after everyone was done there were more people in the purple circle than in any of the others. Green came in close second, red in third, and yellow and orange tied for fourth. But the last three colors had a pitiful amount of people in them. Adams shook his head, and then headed over to orange to ask what kind of class each student had taken. Harry couldn't hear what they said because he was in purple with nearly all the other students. He noticed that Malfoy was over in green and surprisingly Hermione was in the red circle. Class ended while Professor Adams was still finding out what experience people had.

Adams passed out a questionnaire that asked what sort of experience people had as they walked out the door. It would have been easier if he had done that at first Harry thought. He was very disappointed with the way class had gone. Maybe it would be better next time.


	4. Peeves

Methos...

It was lunchtime but Methos didn't feel like eating so he stayed in the gym and practiced with one of the swords there, as he still hadn't found his sword yet. He was getting very frustrated and angry. The Ivanhoe was a very special sword to him and not having it was upsetting him. His first class had been a total disaster; he couldn't find the questionnaires about the students' experience that Duncan had made, so he had spent the first class trying to find out how much experience each student had had. He didn't remember until the end of class where Duncan had said the sheets were, so he had handed them out to all the students, making himself look like an idiot after having just spent the whole class trying to find out the information asked about on the sheets. Stupid, but he had been upset about his sword, not really a very good excuse since it usually takes a lot to make him get upset. But then he had a pretty good reason to be upset.

A sword he never let out of his sight had disappeared because he had let it out of his sight, they hadn't let him carry it on the plane, it had to be stowed with his luggage, and since he had gone straight from the plane to the train station he hadn't had time to unpack his sword, and then when he got to the school they rushed him on into the Great Hall without time to stop and get it. And now it was gone, and Methos had no idea where it had gone. He had stopped to talk to the House Elves before class; they had no idea where his sword was because they had not seen it when they unpacked his luggage. Methos knew he had packed it, he never went anywhere without it. So sometime between leaving the airport, because he had checked to make sure it was all right, he couldn't take it out though because there where to many people around, and the house elves unpacking his luggage the sword had disappeared. Where it had gone though, that was the trouble.

He ruled out its disappearance taking place at the train station, too many people around and he had never let his luggage out of his site until he had gotten on the train, and then it had been stowed in the luggage compartment for him. So someone had taken it then or at the castle before the house elves had unpacked his luggage, but who could have taken it, and why would they want to. There was nothing really special about his sword, it was old, and maybe slightly valuable, and unique, but not many people knew this unless they where a sword collector. And no honest collector would touch his sword, it was too unique to be passed off easily if someone where looking for it, and there could be no doubt it was stolen, unless the person who took it could explain why it was in such good condition, so well taken care of. But there was always the chance that someone would be able to explain it, still Methos ruled out the possibility of someone taking the sword to sell, Duncan would be able to see if someone tried to sell Methos' sword. Methos had called him that morning asking him to keep an eye out for his sword and to notify him as soon as he heard anything.

Methos was winding down his practice when the poltergeist appeared, with, of all things, Methos' sword. Methos recognized it immediately.

"Hello Peeves. What are you doing with my sword?" Methos asked in the coldest, most dangerous tone he could muster, which was very cold and dangerous indeed because he was so angry. At his words the poltergeist looked around with a very frightened look on his face. When he saw Methos he looked slightly relieved.

"Ha, its only you Professor Adams. I thought for a moment it was someone else."

"Only me, Peeves? Yes it is only I. And I ask again, what are you doing with my sword?" Methos said in the same tone. Peeves got paler than normal and looked very frightened.

"Methos." was all he said.

"Yes. Why do you have my sword?"

"So sorry sir," he said, giving the sword back to Methos. "I didn't know it was yours sir. I will never touch it again sir."

"Very good Peeves, but one more thing before you leave. Do not tell anyone who I am. I am only humble Professor Adams, the DYWW teacher. You understand Peeves?"

"Yes sir." And with that Peeves vanished.

Methos was very relieved to have the Ivanhoe back. He could now relax a bit and enjoy his time teaching. He knew Peeves would tell no one who he was, Peeves was still too frightened of him. After all, the last time Peeves had seen him; he was still one of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse. Peeves didn't know Methos had given all that up, that he had reformed and become 'one of the good guys' so to speak. Mostly Duncan's fault that he wasn't as self centered as he used to be, Duncan and his eternal 'boy scout' attitude.

Ah well. Methos didn't mind so much, only Duncan made him feel guilty sometimes, made him feel like he had to help those less fortunate than him. Methos just hoped Peeves stayed scared of him enough that he would pull no pranks on him, that was what had gotten Peeves in trouble with the Four Horsemen before. Methos didn't mind Peeves' jokes but they often got out of hand.

Methos finished his exercise and put his sword away, to wait patiently for his next class, seventh years, and all four houses at once, wonderful. And he had heard stories about the Weasley twins in the seventh year, that they pulled jokes and pranks, made general nuisances out of themselves, always getting into trouble, they couldn't be anywhere near as bad as Peeves though. Methos wasn't dreading them that much; they might even liven up the class a bit.


	5. Notice

Ok, so I've changed a few things with the story. Have a new beta but I think I would like a second one...no offense to Julie, she did a wonderful job and caught several things for me, but I'd like a second opinion on a couple things I'm having trouble with. Namely chapter 4's beginning. So anyone want to help beta?


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